hey sup guys... just outta curiosity whats the longest any of you been with your significant other ? i just recently broke up with my girl of over 3 years and it is really taking a toll on me.... all my friends say keep busy dont think about it, but its not that easy, any ideas on how to get over it ? if its over? ive also been told fist break up never usually lasts.... anything helpful would be coo thanks
sect0r - - I just broke up with mine of 4 years. I have no advice to give you. There are no techniques. You need to allow yourself to grieve, and it's alright to feel bad. Reading more helps, as well as writing. Take some time to be alone and to think about who you are. If it's possible and you want to, then find ways to make amends with her. Keeping busy and noth thinking about it is not easy, and I don't recommend it, because it might easily put you into a stae of denial. You must think about it and how it has affected you and how feel about it, etc. Don't put it away into the corner of yourt mind and pretend it's not there. It'll catch up with you, don't worry. The only thing that can heal such wounds is TIME.
______________________________________________________ The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
You're a siamese twin. Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay. You're not. He has a date coming over tonight. You only have one ass.
i had a really close gf for about 2 years.. she broke up w/ me for another guy.. it was rough. i did the anti-depressant thing and the counseling thing.. it's rough
time is the only thing that will change your situation.
i find yelling and taking your anger out on other things, not neccecarily people, makes you feel better. don't think about getting back togeather cause when you do it won't be the same. i know. it will just annoy cause all the things that she did before that you didn't like are magnified by your hatred for the situation. i think LTD was pretty much right on. go read SNOW CRASH.
been there more times than id like. my wife of 6 years just walked out on me last week and got her own appartment. she said i spend too much time on the computer and dont make enough money, but she knew who i was before we got married. spend time alone like LTD said, but also spend some time with friends who wont make fun of you if you cry. that might sound gay, but it helps alot. theres no shame in crying and it really flushes out those horrible feelings inside and lets you think straight again.
The answer is simply.. find another girl just as good or better and that will take your mind right off the old one.
Being male has its perks we are not as emotional at times when a relationship ends so all we need or the majority of us needs is another woman equal or better than the one before and you are good to go.
max if you could say that... then i dont know if you have ever really been in love, no one is asking us to feel sorry for ourselves... just that the pain hurts and going right to another girl aint gonna do nothing at all...
I've been in my current relationship for eight months, I feel as though the breakup might come soon, it's going to be really hard because I've been REALLY close with the girl for about two years and then been dating her for the past eight months . . .
Well If you feel that it might come soon, you better start looking right away because as soon as she leaves you are going to feel the burn buddy.
Not saying cheat but you have to get out to the hot spots and mingle with new women that way when the crap hits the fan even if some blows on you, it wont stink as much.
meh... i spent the last year dealing with my pain. personally, the only think i can help this situation is time. max has a good idea, but imo it just wouldnt be fair to the new girl if you were using her just to get over your old girl.
Well it's not really using her to get over your old girl.. the way it works is that the new girl takes the place of the old one.. you totally forget the old one because you are having such a blast with the new one.. It's very sound, you guys should try it and see for yourselves.
But if you are not fortunate to do such things hanging out with your buddies does the trick, and don't call her at all when its over, if you do.. you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt and despair.
Yeah Max your right, everything is expendable, people, feelings, women are just like cars right? You fuck one up, just go out and buy an equal or better one.
I really had to hit myself. I said don´t do it. DON´T DO IT. But now i´ve to write:
I feel with you. And i will never forget it. The feeling that comes into my heart telling me it is not over. Telling me i love her. Telling it is the best i can to to see her now. To touch her. Feel her. Hear her.
But is it her. Or is it IT i want to feel, hear, touch and smell? The feeling to be in love? To feel anther person so close? So close that you can feel the warmth he is spreading? Is it that what people brings them to get shortly after "it" a new one?
IT and not HER? Feelings are so curious. Trust me. I tried to get behind them. And i´m still on my way but find nobody to explore it with me. Everybody tells me i am crazy. That cows cannot dance on your nerves. That you cannot pay with indian money for your ice-cream. But that isn´t the point. I want to show them that is not like they always think. And that orange is not only bright and burning and that it can give you a warm feeling without being "high". I never was and i never will be.
Oh people. Crazy world. Crazy, weird art. Screenshots compared to sex. Is there really a big difference? Some people cannot live their sexuality and put it into other form of expression like music or what they call "art". So a sexy desktop is not only one becuase of the stuff you use. It is also the way how you do it. The LOVE you feel for it.
To bring something back: "What did Imrik just say?"
If you think the same just overread this post and talk like there was nothing.
I had a girlfriend of 5 years leave for a guy over twice my age, and she didn't say a word about it until she'd already messed around with him for a while. It sucked. I was sad for a while. I tried to bargain with her, I drank too much, I didn't sleep for days at a time. I lost 30 pounds. I'm sure everyone knows the drill.
But time passes and it does heal all wounds. I say get back out there and have fun, that's what i should have done.
Max is right, completely, hook up and have fun and don't worry about anything long term.
*sigh* this thread seems rather aloof to me, but I'll chime in and agree with Max and Colossus on this one. Don't bring yourself down because you got dumped/did the dumping, just move on. There are greener fields.
senex the stupider people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them
Oh cmon' that hurt.. I dont mean that a woman is expendable like a car but you have to realize that nothing you can do will fix a relationship once its broken and people fall apart.
What I am saying is guy advice.. it's basically from a guy to a guy so it's going to sound twisted and not cool sounding to a woman, kinda of like being able to hear what guys talk about when a woman is not around.
I would give the same advice to female though although it is a bit harder for women to get over the emotional aspect of a long term relationship, that is if they are not the ones already cheating with a new man.
hmm was with a guy for a year and a half. when we broke up, it hurt a hello-of-alot :( for months, i was extremely depressed, sleeping for days, eating barely anything. what helped was writing in a journal, and talking to random people. it took awhile, and alot of guts, but i discovered another guy (djbkxr ;P) and things worked out... we've been together for almost 6 months, and things are only getting better :D hang in there, and it'll be worth it ;)
"war cannot be avoided. it can only be posponed to the advantage of others..."
One thing Id like to say is that I've been there and it sucks. Girls can really tear your heart out and feed it to their dogs. It's so hard to find that special someone. It's easy to find random girls and have fun with them or whatever but, thats only satisfying for so long. Notihng beats finding "the one." LTD is right on the money on this. Time will only heal. I find that music helps me through a lot of times. I recommend putting something that you can directly relate to lyrically or something that just helps you with your mood. Trying to meet new people is also good, you don't even have to try and find someone right away, you may not even want to. Just remember everything happens for a reason, if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't mean to be
ya music has been helping me out alot.... thanks for the support, and ya heroin i agree with Plex 100%... but she was my best friend and its so much harder when you truly do care about that person... thanks again though guys i guess i will see what happens in the future....
Actually heroin its probably a good place to ask, since you have no fear of being judged or blatantly laughed at. Well, you can be, but "hahaha" doesn't hurt as much as being laughed at in real life, now does it?
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lol.. i actually have an awesome girlfriend right now.. im only 16 (17 in one week today) and we've been together less than 5 months.. but ive known her, and been best friends with her for like 5 years.. weve talked about marriage and stuff.. how likely do you think it is that we work out to get married and stuff?
Unclear: It will work out the way you two make it work out. Don't let people tell you how you relationship will work out , or that it won't just because your young; every two people are different.
i don't even look at 'dating' and 'relationships' the same anymore...
i think by nature we are highly polygamous, and it's apparent that when we have a mate, we sometimes tend to deviate away from them, we'll tell them we love them, but we'll have a strong desire for some pretty brunette in the skirt who just passed by...or vice versa...women also cheat on men....relationships and so called 'dating' are just a social construct(in regards to humans)...hell, people who can count the times they've been to church on one hand, find it IMPERATIVE that they be married in the church (WHY?!), i think it's all about tradition and having it drilled into our heads that we need to have 'someone' for us and etc.
If what you want is a soulmate, you've probably already found them in your best friend...don't find hollywood romance in a girlfriend or a boyfriend..because it's just not there. I find highschool to 20 something age relationships fleeting...and don't ammount much to anything but stupid pet names and late night phone calls, but maybe i'm just too cynical.
--------------------``' kimi no koto o sukidatte, ano uwasa wa hontou sa sou sa. Nete mo samete mo...sakeyou to shite mo DAME sonna fuu ni komaranaide!
yes, seraph, i agree with you on the church part, and yes, many people unfortunately cheat on their spouse, but i still believe it is at least important to maintain our society ideal of monogamy. have you ever noticed that humans are one of the only creatures (if not the only) who remain in a child-like stage (or developmental) for at least a decade? this is because we need extra time to learn and develop our large brains in order to succeed in life (though this doesn't always work :P). imo part of developing successfully is by forming bonds with our mentors. this involves having at least 2 adults around to guide children through their child phase. having many different adults around and failing to form a perminant, strong bond with them imo impairs our willingness to trust and learn. in addition, if we lived in the wild, having 2 adults closely guarding a child would be better than a small group loosely guarding a child. um, crap, i'm hungry. *cranks up 'wasting away' (nailbomb), trods off to get food)...
"war cannot be avoided. it can only be posponed to the advantage of others..."
like i said, i don't want to be mean.. . but to me it seems to be the same as if you walked up to a group of random people in a mall and asked them for relationship advice. maybe im missing out on something.
btw boogieman, thats a really good point. i can understand that.
heroin, here is the answer to your question.. this is sect0r's join date June 14th, 2002 @ 08:39pm and your join date is June 6th, 2003 @ 07:00pm so basically since he's been on the site longer and knows quite a few people on it he feels comfortable asking a question such as the one above.
So of course it would be weird for you because you barely know anyone since you are new to the site and the forums.
